One aim after another

I realize that once I publish this post, I will have written more posts in January 2012 than what I managed between 2007 to 2011. That counts for something, right? No? Bah.

Anyway, one of my many quirks is that I need an aim at every point in my life. Short-term or long-term, it doesn't matter. I have to have something I'm working towards, something that has a specific end time. Without it, I tend to lose my way and meander. That sort of thing happened to me right after graduation, after which I naively thought that I had ended up where I wanted to be. Not so, and I spent the next 2-3 years without gaining much (besides many pounds of fat), and losing quite a bit of enthusiasm, verve etc.

I realized very late that I had this acute need for an aim. Maybe it is the result of the Indian education system, where exams are always around the corner, there is always some competitive exam to prepare for, etc. I'm not against that, it keeps you on your toes and gives you opportunities to outdo yourself, though it demands will power and the support of friends and family to go on despite setbacks.

Maybe it was also a result of my upbringing, where sitting idle and wasting time was frowned upon. I think it was right on my parents' part.

Whatever be the reason, I am the way I am right now. I need an aim, without which I feel lost and run out of verve. Plus the aim has to have a beginning and an end, I haven't yet had an aim that was to bear fruit in an unknown amount of time, I lack enough patience for that. I have been doing this aim thing for many years now, without even realizing it.